A small win

This winter I had the opportunity to speak at three treatment centers in South Florida with my son.

Jacob was the moderator. One of his friends from AA spoke first, sharing his experience and hope. Then it was my turn as an Al Anon member.

Because I was sitting next to Jacob, an AA member with 11 years in recovery, I also was “the Mom.” In me, many see their own mom or wife or girlfriend.

Arranged in a circle around us were men and women, mostly in their late twenties to forties. Several were in their fifties and sixties.

Jacob and I talk often to groups of parents and their loved ones with addiction.
So, it should no longer surprise me that when we finish talking, hands go up:
“I have a question for your mom.”

The questions come fast.

How long did it take you to trust your son again?
Did you get Al Anon the first time? Or did you have to keep coming back?
Do you still go? Why?
How can I get my mom to go?

After a recent meeting, one young woman approached me. She was about my son’s age, mid-thirties. Pretty, pale, blond hair pulled tight in a pony tail, she had watched me with red-rimmed eyes.

I reminded her of her mom, she said. Would it be okay if her mother called me? Maybe Al Anon would help her, too.

Three days later her mom called. Living in the Midwest, she agreed to find an Al Anon meeting. We spoke a second time. She had attended her first meeting, liked it, and would go again.

I never know how Jacob’s or my talks with groups will help someone suffering from addiction or its effects on a family.

But even the small wins are a win.