When friendships matter most

Like many parents there was a time I knew Jacob’s friends. And their parents, too. We were a tribe raising our little indians to be the chiefs we knew they would be.

In high school that all changed.

Jacob suddenly drew new friends. I neither knew them nor their families. The telltale signs of something incredibly wrong were there.

I didn’t want to know these new friends.

Meanwhile, I hid from mine. My son’s blooming addiction was a dark secret I wanted no one to know. – and especially those closest to me, like my friends.

Then I met parents like me.

These were career-oriented working moms and dads whose sons and daughters were using drugs, too. They talked freely and openly about their children, about their fears and disappointments in a setting where privacy was protected.

In Al-Anon I found the friendships I needed to overcome the effects of my son’s addiction. And I kept coming back.

Meanwhile, Jacob, too, in a geography far from me, found new friends. These were young men and women like him, once college-bound and from solid families, their lives interrupted, striving to find a recovery that would last.

Today, I thank the people who were patient with me. They never pushed, never pried, but waited solemnly for my return.

And I am forever grateful for the new friends Al-Anon has given me, the people who always “get” it because they live it, too.

I also am grateful for the new friends in my son’s life. One of my happiest moments is watching him surrounded by their love.

Our lives are richer for the friendships we’ve sustained over a lifetime, and for the new friends addiction has gifted.