Worth saving

Recently, a mom from Florida emailed about her adult son.  Not only is he actively using, but his addiction is further complicated with several mental health diagnoses.  This mom writes:

I have attended three Nar-Anon meetings but have been unable to embrace the 12 step program. These meetings have left me feeling more hopeless than hopeful. I have tried to educate myself about his addiction and have reached out to friends who have gone through similar experiences. There don’t seem to be any answers.

No, perhaps there aren’t any answers, at least not yet.  But that doesn’t mean a mom can stop trying.

When Jacob was actively using, I never attended Nar- Anon.  It may well be the right place for many families, but it wasn’t for my husband and me.  Instead, we attended – and still attend – Al Anon. In fact, in those first few weeks when I began attending meetings I was keen to adhere to every Al Anon recommendation.  “Try several meetings, at least 6 or 7, until you find the one that is right for you.”

In our area there are meetings nearly every day, mornings and evenings.  As Jacob settled into his first sober house in Delray Beach, Florida, we settled into our first regular Al Anon meeting in the kindergarten of a nearby church in Annapolis, Maryland.  The meetings routinely attract 30 to 40 people – parents suffering as we were, as well as spouses of addicts, and their adult children, too.

Sure, there’s lots of crying.  But there’s laughter, too.  Members share their experience, strength, and most welcome of all, their hope.  They keep the focus on themselves and their progress, not on the addict. Many find sponsors and thoughtfully work through the twelve steps.  Al Anon is, after all, a program of recovery for those affected by the disease of addiction.

That’s what I hope for this mother.  That she continues searching for the right group to help her in her own recovery.  Her son’s disease is devastating her.  Even though he may not find recovery, maybe she will.

If he’s worth saving, so is she.