Out there, out of money, out of options?

The pain is lying to you about your options

I know that feeling. When you're sick, broke and ashamed, your whole world shrinks down to the next few hours, and every door you can see looks like a bad one. That isn't the truth about your life. That's the disease talking, and it wants you isolated and desperate. There are other doors, and people standing on the other side of them waiting for you:

• Detox can take you today, even with no money and no insurance. Find detox near our houses
• Walk into a meeting, even if you're high. Nobody there will turn you away. Someone in that room has stood exactly where you're standing.
• Call someone from the house. You don't have to have the right words. "I'm not okay and I need help getting to detox" is enough. Ask for help, not money. We will answer that call.
• You don't have to go hungry. Free meals and food pantries are open across Broward and Miami-Dade.

"I'm never going back to prison"

I've heard so many of you say it, and I understand why. What you lived through in there was real. But please hear me: a relapse is not a crime. Being broke is not a crime. Whatever has happened so far can almost always still be faced and survived. The thing that takes people away from us for good is one desperate moment, and then running. You deserve better than that ending.

• Don't run. Call first. If you're on probation or scared there's a warrant, call a public defender or legal aid before you do anything. Walking in with a lawyer goes so much better than being caught.
• Ask about treatment instead of jail. Drug court and treatment programs exist for exactly this, and the earlier you ask, the more doors are open.
• You are so much more than your record. I've watched people come home from prison and rebuild beautiful lives, right here in our houses. You can be one of them.

Please come home

A relapse doesn't erase the work you did or the person you became. So many people with years of recovery went back out, sometimes more than once, before it finally held. If you left a Blue Waters house, I want to hear from you. Not to judge you. Just to know you're okay, and to help you find your way back. Reach out to us

Sometimes it's more than the drugs

If your moods swing from sky-high to rock bottom, if money slips through your fingers, if one bad day makes you feel like you have nothing left to lose, you might be carrying something underneath the addiction, like bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, depression or trauma. That isn't weakness, and it isn't your fault. It's treatable, and you deserve that care. Find medical and behavioral health care

To everyone still in the house

You are often the first ones to see it coming, and you carry so much when someone you love goes back out. None of it is your fault. But if you notice these signs, please don't keep them to yourself:

• They left or went quiet, then suddenly call asking for money
• They had good money and it's all gone
• They say things like "I'm never going back" or "they'll have to kill me first"
• Wild mood swings, reckless spending, talking like nothing matters anymore

Love them in a way that helps. Offer a ride to detox, a meeting or a bed instead of cash. Tell a house manager. Ask them gently and directly if they're thinking about dying. Asking won't put the idea in their head, and it might be the question that saves them. Call 988 together, or for advice on your own. And keep reaching out, even when they don't answer.