What I know now

It’s still happening.

Despite the headlines that tout fewer deaths due to overdose and fewer young people using drugs, I still meet mothers and fathers whose children – as the first step in Al-Anon and AA says – are making their lives “unmanageable.”

It’s why they come to church basements and fellowship halls. They seek answers, maybe absolution, for something they didn’t cause and can’t cure, let alone control.

I don’t know what causes a child to stop using drugs.  Or what propels him or her to find the path that leads to recovery and to stay on it.

And despite all the well-meaning professionals, research, new drugs and treatments – including the latest studies about Ozempic and similar drugs – I’m not sure that anyone does.

But I do know this.

If I hadn’t found my way into an Al-Anon meeting l5 years ago, I’d still be hiding.  Shame still would isolate me. Worse, I’d be making the same mistakes trying to help Jacob which only would make life more miserable for him, me and everyone around us.

And if I hadn’t come to Al-Anon when I did, I’m not sure where I – or Jacob – would be today.  (He says that, too).

I also know this.

Thanks to AA for him and Al-Anon for me, we speak a common language.

My relationship with him, since his recovery began 14 years ago, is stronger and more profound than it could ever be.  It’s even laced with that well-known Hillman-humor.

As the slogan goes, you come to Al-Anon when you are ready.

I just wish more parents would be ready sooner.